J'adore la France! I'm not sure when I'll next enjoy a café noisette in the Latin Quarter or a lunchtime spécial du jour at Mon Bar in Avignon, but dinner at one of Vancouver's fancy French restaurants could be in the cards.
Le Crocodile is an award-winning giant of that scene. In keeping with the establishment's elegance and attention to diner satisfaction, Le Crocodile's website is classy-looking and easy to navigate. The writing, however, contains a variety of awkward phrasings and minor errors—all of which could be remedied through careful editing. (I must note here that if the web text has been composed by someone whose first/strongest language isn't English, that writer deserves our compliments and admiration—as well as the services of a good editor.)
Let's look at a couple of screen shots from lecrocodilerestaurant.com (captured March '22).
Although the only obvious error here is the term "buyout" (diners are not being asked to purchase controlling shares in the restaurant), other problems give the impression that the passage was written in a bit of a hurry. The revision below aims to smooth out the awkwardness, eliminate the ambiguities, and add a few finishing garnishes to the information.
Group Dining
To ensure the best service possible, we kindly request that parties of 10 or more guests order from one of our carefully crafted set menus.
A deposit of [amount] is required for parties of 12 or more.
Although we're unable to offer a private dining room, our space fosters a sense of intimacy for all diners. If your group exceeds 30 guests, please get in touch with us to arrange a booking of the entire restaurant.
What do you think? Better suited to an establishment where the meals and service are to be savoured?
This next passage contains a number of glitches: punctuation and usage errors, a dangling modifier, a typo, a sneaky (bilingual) redundancy, and several awkward phrasings. So many opportunities for creative revision!
Judging from the rave reviews and prizes, I don't think Le Crocodile is suffering as a result of writing glitches on its website. Nevertheless, prose that's as carefully crafted as their mousse au chocolat maison would be a nice touch. N'est-ce-pas?
